Currently despising myself and my sexuality. Is it some phase that girls go through where they need to make a guy the center of their universe? Or are we stuck like this forever? Seriously.
I could sit here and bemoan the fact that I'm not a lesbian, but honestly it probably wouldn't make a difference.
A recurring theme that I'm seeing lately is girls randomly sleeping with guys. I don't understand why I have this need to tear apart people's actions analyzing them, but I guess my mind cannot comprehend doing something without a logical reason. Is there a simple biological need driving this? Or is it the dreaded "L- word Factor"? Is every single girl I know sleeping with a guy who hasn't exhibited even the slightest hint of affection for her, doing it because she expects sex to make him love her? And if they are, why does that thought disgust me so much?
I know it doesn't work like that. And I thought that was common knowledge. I suspect the idea may be disturbing to me because, inspite of everything, I still believe that the actions of others dictate my actions.
Or maybe I've just been listening to too much Bikini Kill lately.
Today's Lesson: I am not smart enough or mature enough to be giving anyone advice.